ii. colours: pink for the pajamas and floral print leggings, yellow for the middle of a daisy and the guest bedroom and for learning sacrifice, blue days when I was calmer and then white days when I was not there at all, like blinding light broke a way out of a broken brain and finally the many hues the sky goes through night to day- it is never the same colour when you look at it.
iii. there are roads and restaurants marked with muscle memory, just like studying books and the piano my fingers alone learnt to play. In some places the heartbeats come faster and faster because your heart and lungs recognise where you have been.
iv. then there are the names that, if spoken, fill my mouth with shame, regret, wanting, wishes, with hope, with love, with missing, with space.
