where I don’t have to avoid you. I thought I might see you
when the party moved to the garage, girls with red wine mouths
and men all dressed the same, their eyes shiny and lifeless
as marbles. I don’t want to be a broken faucet or the future of
electromagnetics. Just set on the idea of being clearly understood
and uncomplex. There are old carcasses grimacing in the sink.
I am happy because at least we are both alive, even though,
one day not long ago though I couldn’t say when, I petrified.
Ineedmoreofwhathelpsmethink. I need not to think of you at all.
All the leaves blown up from the pavements pile on the bed.
We’re all working hard on our dreams. Life didn’t meet the grade
last year, but I felt free, even if I was free just to realise
that I will never fit in. That everything changes with expectations
I’ll never meet and expensive wine I’ll never tell apart from
the cheap stuff and seeing clearly that some people have it simple
and that’s enviable because I don’t, but it’s also not obtainable.
Sometimes I know it would be better if I were a scarecrow
with hay bails for brains and good posture, a fastened-on face,
a purpose that everybody is sure of. I know for certain
a scarecrow would be preferred to me. I wonder what it’s like
to always think that your life is what everyone sees as just right.
