How did you wear it so easily,
make
your head hang so naturally?
Perhaps it's one of those things
for only some people.
For some,
mourning suits.
I'm not one of them.
Tell me, how did you cut your grief
so clean in half, just like
a smile I saw
caught
in the gleam of sun
on a swimming pool,
shimmering
in a mirage
or a lifetime ago,
when the summer heat knew us
and was simmering
around us, lifetimes ago.
It cut the world in half,
divided then from now,
divided moonlight,
split open decay
to allow for more decay.
We've been doing that since May.
Now it's autumn,
meaning
cold feet and a pile of laundry
losing heat, and inconsolable sky
and
a train pulls into the platform,
empties itself,
and on a sixth floor balcony,
evening dewdrops cling
to the railing,
trembling, shy.
The thud of old telephone books,
thrashing in the wind.
Our bones shook,
as we went on
running on,
ruining
one
another for anybody else.
Everybody else.
Broken leaves, gold and russet.
Seasons leave us more than people do
so
why is it we don't mourn the fallen
from trees
as well as wars and cars and
wars and wars and wars.
The 11th of the 11th month at 11
they called
for peace. Rest in peace.
At 11:11 I wish that
someone
somewhere
will soon kiss away
my idiosyncrasies
and my memories
until they sigh,
bye, bye, and you're gone
as if never here.
They always say
earth is a place you didn't belong.
Cold and birdsong, chuckling
at the window.
You are always there- yes you,
at the edge of that photograph
in lecture halls. in guitar chords,
in nothing-at-alls, in hospital wards.
Your face, slow-burning,
an after-image,
across fields of morning light,
under the lapels of mourning suits.
